My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
