we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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