listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
