whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
