How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
