he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize