So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
