Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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