That's intense
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
