just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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