with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
