we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm bleeding and have questions
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize