do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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