So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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