evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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