Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
