I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
