That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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