Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
