that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize