tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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