More tranny stories later!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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