butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
