VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
