I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
