sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize