Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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