I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
