It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
