Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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