Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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