Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
