ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
