Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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