I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
