even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
