I think I died a long time ago.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
