do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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