the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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