Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
