Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
