If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize