tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
