I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
