sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
