she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
handjob tips. give me some.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
