Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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