My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
