She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She bit a glass in half.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
