yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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