Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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