So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm at about main and main street
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
