Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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