Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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