Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
