OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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