I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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