I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
