It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
