Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize