So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
