You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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