i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
