No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
