Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
