Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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